Sunday, October 6, 2013

The Worst Kind of "Domestic" Violence

October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month.  Statistically, 1 in 4 women will experience domestic (aka interpersonal) violence in her lifetime.  That means we all know someone or have experienced interpersonal violence ourselves.  This is an important topic and I don't want to be dismissive but I want to talk about a bigger epidemic that needs to be addressed and that is INNER personal violence.  Every woman I know has experienced this because we do it to ourselves. We wage war against ourselves, bully ourselves,  withhold love from ourselves.  We speak to ourselves in way we would never speak to another ourselves fat, ugly, unworthy,stupid, etc.  We abuse our bodies with unhealthy habits.  We commit acts of violence against ourselves everyday and don't even recognize it. Even worse, as they watch us perpetrate against ourselves, we are teaching our daughters to do it too.......opening the door for them to attract men who will reinforce the negative beliefs they have about themselves.  

It is time for us to extend ourselves some compassion, grace, acceptance and love.  To proclaim our "enoughness" just as we are.  To recognize ourselves as the amazingly imperfect goddesses that we are. To be good in our skin no matter what it looks like.

I read this from Chris Zydel this morning:

It doesn't matter if you made some choices that did not turn out the way you expected them too. If you ended up feeling disappointed. Or like you failed.

It doesn't matter if you promised yourself that you would stop doing something or start. And then you didn't. Or you stop and start and stop and start and don't get as far as you thought you would.

It doesn't matter if you're scared. And because you're scared you spend time agonizing and feeling paralyzed.

It doesn't matter if you think you made a mistake. Or others think you made a mistake. Or if you actually DID make a mistake.

It doesn't matter if you keep falling off of your own personal wagon again and again and again. Or that you have patterns that you can't seem to break.

It doesn't matter if you make six figures, or lose that 10 pounds or have a house on the beach or are blissfully happy in your life.

The only thing that matters is that you keep yourself in your own heart. No matter what the external circumstances are. And if you can't do that, find someone else who can love you. And if they're not around , try and remember that Spirit doesn't care what you do or don't accomplish.

The only thing that matters to Spirit is love. Because Spirit is love. And you are Spirit. Which means YOU are love. And ARE loved. Always. No matter what. You are loved.

Thank you Chris. Every once in a while I need to be reminded what I am made of...who I am made of. I am grateful for tribe sisters who do that.

So to acknowledge Domestic Violence Awareness Month and to honor those women who have been lost to interpersonal violence, I am committing to end my INNER personal violence and start exercising grace and loving acts for myself. Please do the same.

PS..I love you

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